He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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