He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
