I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
