I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
