there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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