....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
