The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
