i can't believe i had my finger in that
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
