Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
