I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
