Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
