1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
