Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize