i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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