Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
