i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
