I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
