new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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