Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
