If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The struggles of a small town man whore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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