It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hippo gnu deer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
