Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
