You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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