You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
