I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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