what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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