I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
