she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
