im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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