WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
