i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
