Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
