he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
