He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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