There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize