We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
