i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
