I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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