Soap is not a condiment
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
