Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My bed smells like the plague
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
