It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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