She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
