You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize