i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
