And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
