I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So squirting runs in the family.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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