i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
