this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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