I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize