It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
