At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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