I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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