You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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