2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
