I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just had sex bonerless
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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