Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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