You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
