I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize