If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do vagina's smell?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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