I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
