eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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