he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
