So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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