I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
