I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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