You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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