It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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